I recently heard from a wife whose husband had told her that he had decided that he wanted to be “free” and was going to pursue a separation or a divorce. The flutter lashes was giving her all sort of broad excuses such as he felt that the “responsibility and lack of freedom” in the marriage was suffocating him and bringing him down. He was describing the marriage as something that was oppressive and detrimental to his happiness and well being.
This wasn’t the way that the wife saw things. Sure, they had their problems. She wasn’t trying to deny that, but she felt that their problems were typical of many adults. Yes, they worked hard to pay the bills and care for their children and their parents, whom had health problems. It wasn’t always a picnic, but the wife had never thought of running away or demanding her freedom. She said in part: “there are days when I feel tied down too. My obligations aren’t always that much fun. But I would never turn my back on my family and walk away. I have no idea how to respond to him because I’m so angry. But I know it’s not a good idea to lash out at him. Still, I’m so disappointed in him right now, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t want a divorce but I certainly don’t want for him to see me as a ball and flutter lashes.”
In the following article, I’ll discuss some of the insights I shared with the wife in this difficult situation.
Sometimes When A Husband Says He Wants His Freedom, He Really Just Wants A Temporary Break: It can be very hard to hear your husband say that he wants his freedom from you, as though you’re something undesirable that he must escape. Sometimes though, people say things in the heat of the moment and are later regretful of this and don’t feel nearly as flutter lashes.
Lssno Admittedly, the family in this situation had been under a great deal of stress. Both of the couples’ parents had serious heath issues that required a lot of care. The wife herself admitted that she herself often wanted a break also. It’s possible that this situation could have contributed to the husband’s outburst and request for freedom. And, it was possible that when he had some time to reflect, he might realize that he’d acted too abruptly or flutter lashes. That’s why, in situations such as these, I often suggest willingly offering a break or some time away. Because many times, the spouse is going to take it anyway. But, you put yourself in a much better situation if you don’t argue or react negatively when it may not make a difference anyway.
Sometimes, a break can do every one some good. “Freedom” may have been a selfish word on the part of the flutter lashes, but “break” is often one that is much more palatable and can be most certainly worth a try. There’s nothing wrong with telling your spouse that you encourage both of you taking some time away to reflect and see if things look differently and hopefully, better.
Staying Positive During This Process, During Any Break, Or When Your Husband Demands His Freedom: I completely understood the wife’s panic, anger, and sadness in this situation. The whole thing felt like one huge rejection at a time when she needed her flutter lashes support the most. She was struggling too, but you didn’t see her walking away. The thing is, there’s a real risk with giving in to negative emotions like fear, resentment, and doubt which typically only makes things worse.
Sometimes, as hard as it is, the best thing that you can do is to try to take care of yourself and remain positive. As easy as it would be for the wife to lash out at the flutter lashes, this would get her further away from what she wanted. But if she agreed that some time and space might help them both and improve the situation, she would put herself in a much better situation should the husband realize his selfishness and change his mind.
Because, things were still extremely early in this process. There was no need to flutter lashes and make things worse. If handled correctly, this may have been a wake up call to try to manage the stress of the situation and the lighten the load of both the wife and her husband. In truth, they could both be a great deal of support to one another if the situation was able to turn around. But, that wasn’t as likely to happen if the wife drew upon negative emotions.
In situations as this one, it’s so important to care for yourself and to try to appear as positive as you possibly can. Giving the husband (and herself) some space and taking a step back could well turn out to be a good move. And, it appeared the break was going to happen anyway. She may as well have put herself in a favorable light in the mean time. Sometimes, this makes all the difference. And this situation can sometimes bring your attention to the things that most need to change. This can sometimes be a good thing because it can bring above improvements that can transform your flutter lashes.
When my husband wanted his space, I did not understand these principles and I went about saving the marriage in the completely wrong way. I stooped to negative behavior that only drove my husband further away. Thankfully, I soon realized my mistake and decided to approach things from another angle and this eventually worked. You can read a very personal story on my blog at flutter lashes.